Good Morning! How are you feeling today? I'm hopeful that you have been sent the memo regarding your 'flush' that starts today. You see, I have realized some things and they are not good. I have abused you, dear liver - and I feel horrible about it.
You remember at 19 years old - that incident at Chi Chi's restaurant where your buddy the gallbladder couldn't take anymore? He felt like he would explode after we enjoyed all of those tortilla chips and complimentary salsa. I have never seen such bile! Poor guy. You did so well, liver, suffering through Margarita after wonderful Margarita. You're a trooper!
The next year was hard - no one believed the gallbladder wasn't ill and they had to remove him from the scene. I had no idea that he could have been saved or I would have tried! No one ever told me there were other ways to deal with his issues. I took the easiest way for me and never thought about it much. I was selfish and wanted the annoyance removed.....and that's what I chose. I'm not proud, and if I could go back and talk to our gallbladder, I would humbly apologize for having removed a vital part of what I need to be who I am. Our lives are not the same without him.
I would also like to apologize to you, liver - for every horrible things I made/make you do. It's not your job to put up with all of that! You simply were not trained for that. The years of imbibing alcohol at alarming rates for....well....I'm not quite sure what all of that was meant to prove.....but I'm sorry.
The animal protien, dairy and sugars I consumed and forced you to bathe in while I enjoyed the addicting tastes and you enjoyed....well....nothing, I guess. You filter crap. You were busy at work and didn't have the chance to get the pleasure I did from what they call 'food.' The countless prescriptions I ingested without thinking because some guy or gal in a white lab coat told me it would help us. None of them did - and you had to filter through all of that to try to keep me well.
I could see you getting weary - I could feel it. I ached when you ached and I worried for you. I worried for us. Those few months when you stopped caring were so sad for me. I didn't realize what was happening, but you and the others were abandoning me. You saw I wasn't holding up my end of the deal, so why should you? It took me awhile to figure it out (and even then, I needed help to get it!) but once I did, I vowed to you that I would never let us get to that point again. We would never needlessly suffer when it came to being healthy.
In the war on wellness - it's us or them.....and I've got my money on us. Get ready, liver - I have big plans for us this week! I have prepared a flush for you!! I know, I'm excited too! We are going to feel better then ever - and get back on track! We're going to BE better than ever!
It is going to be a long week of apples, epsom salts, olive oil and grapefruit - but I'm willing to do anything to make amends for the things I've done. I hope this will help to establish a new, healthier relationship between us. I've missed working with you and I know the reason we haven't done so is because of me. I am so sorry to have put you through all of this and I hope one day we can be friends again.